I briefly mentioned in a recent post that singleness is more challenging than marriage. And while marriage and singleness are incomparable, I do hold to this mentality and would like to delve further into it. Please know that in this post I take the stance that every marriage is modeling the ideal. I understand that life doesn’t happen in a vacuum, there are plenty of variables that can disrupt the ideal, but for the sake of argument and the inability to expound on every possible outcome life can throw at us, I will be operating with this mentality. Now, onto the post: Continue reading “Why Singles Have It Harder”
I was scrolling through Instagram and I liked a photo. A good friend had just posted an engagement announcement. I was thrilled. They were great people who would do great things together. Then I scanned the comments, the regular hearts and exclamations of joy– and then I hit a comment that made me cringe. It said, “welcome to the club.” My skin crawled. I had to resist the urge to reply and throw up all over my phone. When did marriage become a club? And if that’s what it is going to be, count me out. Continue reading “Marriage Isn't a Club”
I said I would talk about it in my last post. So here it is: A modern elopement sounded so appealing to me– and by modern elopement, I mean more of the concept of a ceremony for just the two of us rather than running off without the blessing of anyone. The intimacy of a small ceremony was utterly appealing, the thought of it being just you, your future spouse, and a minister tucked out somewhere in the woods was beyond tempting. I craved the simplicity of it all– Continue reading “Why We're Having A Wedding “
I was sitting next to a woman I had never met before and we were talking about her kid. I found my eyes slide over to her left hand to look for a wedding ring. It wasn’t there. Just a bare finger. I suddenly found myself thinking she was divorced, or had a kid out of wedlock, judging her situation, her life, her choices. Then in the next breathe, she mentioned her husband. I realized that a wedding band or engagement ring mattered to me. It was a determination of worth and success, of doing things right. So I asked myself the question, “If you’re married and don’t wear a ring, are you really still married?” Continue reading “The Wedding Ring Paradox”
I sat down for coffee with a friend, our conversation traversed from theology to guys, to relationships, and ultimately to marriage. We commiserated on how difficult it was to be single and dating in your mid-twenties. The frustrations of how our married friends just don’t get it as they look at us like we are stumbling around blindly looking for a partner. Dating isn’t a game of piñata, here people, well sometimes it feels like it is. In a general sense, aren’t we all just going out blindfolded and taking swings at this piñata as crowds of hopeful friends cheer you on, fingers crossed that your baseball bat will make direct contact like Willie Mays to a home run and a shower of stale candy will rain down from this imaginary potential spouse piñata and a diamond ring the size of a ring pop will be in there somewhere?
In times of the singleness woes, it’s easy to lose sight of this precious and gifted time in our lives. I honestly don’t think the Church is doing a very good job with helping out the singles. Sorry Church, just being real. Since marriage is pushed for so hard and uplifted above all and sought for by everyone with fervency, we singles can get a little lost and mislead when it comes to viewing and living out our time in-between. So I guess that means that we need to remind one another about what our mission truly is during this unique place in our lives. I think it’s time for us to take a good long look at our relational priorities. Paul utterly praises singleness in 1 Corinthians 7 and advocates for it. Though we must remember the historical context of the times, (people were getting eaten by lions, man) this scripture is still relevant today. Sure we can even mention how Jesus was single. I don’t think it really matters. Whatever your desire in life, you’re here now and might as well make the best of it. ‘Cause once it’s gone it’s gone for good. There’s no use in griping and moaning or trying to poke at it. Stop worrying about being single. Here are some better ways to be living out your single years:
Marriage is rad, or so I’m told. But do you really need to be married, and married young that is, to experience some good character building life lessons? The author of this article: 3 Legit Reasons You Should Marry Young, seems to think so. And not only that, but you SHOULD get married young, because that’s best. Duh. And is totally within your control. Double duh. And if you’re past what is considered “young,” hey don’t worry, just keep working on yourself for that perfect person. Let’s all just put on the dunce hat together, okay? Now I think it’s clear that I have a lot of beef with this article. I’ve also taken into consideration that it isn’t based on a Christian faith, though there are some indicators that would incline me to believe so. Noted. But I think it’s important to look at this through a single Christian lense and to say why it’s okay to not feel this way and to disagree and talk about it.
I really don’t know why I’m suddenly talking about dating here. For a while, I thought this was going to be a topic I would avoid on Spirited Life, even though it’s actually a subject I’m quite passionate about. I can go on and on and on about dating and love and singleness and relationships. Perhaps it was the collective 10-hour drive from my home in Southern California to my parent’s place in the Bay Area where I binged on the podcast “Why Oh Why?” by Andrea Silenzi. Maybe it was the recent conversations I had with a couple really good friends and my younger sister about how much dating can suck. Or maybe I’m just realizing that more of us need to be honest about this life stage and the dating culture we are confronted with and are trying to navigate through and I might as well chime in with the chatter. So if you’re looking for a how-to date, sorry, but that’s not what you’re about to get. Consider this the first of many posts on this subject matter, and this is only the introduction.
Ah, Pinterest. How I love thee. At over 12K pins and nearly 1,000 followers, it’s plain to see that I am a big fan. I find inspiration. Encouraging quotes tastefully scripted over beautiful graphics, my next must-do craft project, how-to, organization, beauty, fashion, the list goes on and on. If you’re on Pinterest, I’m preaching to the choir, and if you’re anything like me, you know how easy it is to get lost in the time vortex of pinning. Spending what ends up to be hours upon hours rummaging through boards and rabbit holes of pins and discovering new pinners, a healthy grasp upon reality can get a little jumbled.