Ah, Pinterest. How I love thee. At over 12K pins and nearly 1,000 followers, it’s plain to see that I am a big fan. I find inspiration. Encouraging quotes tastefully scripted over beautiful graphics, my next must-do craft project, how-to, organization, beauty, fashion, the list goes on and on. If you’re on Pinterest, I’m preaching to the choir, and if you’re anything like me, you know how easy it is to get lost in the time vortex of pinning. Spending what ends up to be hours upon hours rummaging through boards and rabbit holes of pins and discovering new pinners, a healthy grasp upon reality can get a little jumbled.
Most of what we’re seeing on Pinterest is like flipping through a fashion magazine. Ideals, airbrushing, staged rooms, perfect recipes, many of you have probably tried a thing or two from your Pinterest boards and had it fail miserably. So many devoted pinners have experienced this phenomena that there has been an up swell in the “Pinterest Fail” memes. But beyond the comical failed attempts at making cake pops or doing that mascara trick, something more sinister is lurking beneath the surface of the pins that track through your feed or is pinned to your board. Expectation. Comparison, disillusioned perceptions of reality. This isn’t a new trend. Fashion magazines and the media have been at the core of these problems for decades, and while thigh gaps seem to be all the rage, they’re for another day. Right now, I want to deal with the man dreaded, lady swooning, every bride that has and will be gold mine of a board: The Wedding Board.
Ladies and possibly gentlemen (there’s no discrimination here), before you laugh in my face and stop reading, don’t. Hear me out. Let’s be real. I know you have a board like this. Please, let’s not pretend otherwise. I do too, well I did. I first heard this idea of deleting that board from a sermon by Sammy Rhodes. I thought it was silly. Delete my board, hah! I thought that since I was only pinning “pretty things,” that I was exempt. I wasn’t actually planning my dream wedding! My board was all a mismatched collection of this and that.
Then I thought about it, more and more. I gazed through my glittering pins and chatted with a few friends. I came to realize that almost every one of my gal pals has a wedding board. Single, engaged, married. They’re all pinning wedding dresses and centerpieces like crazy. And guess what else? It’s making them crazy. You crazy. Me crazy. Guys think we’re crazy. Now, why is this making all of us go insane? I’ll tell you why, because the images that are clogging up our feeds of these drop dead gorgeous weddings are giving us unrealistic expectations. It is making us dream and focus more on the wedding itself than on what it means to be married or what the point of a wedding is.
If you’re engaged and using Pinterest to plan your actual wedding, congratulations! You are in the throws of the stress and joy that comes along with putting together your real life wedding. Pinterest can be a super helpful tool for all your wedding needs when used in this context. My best friend/roommate just got engaged. Like most young couples, they don’t have a lot of cash. Their wedding budget is tight, like 10 grand tight.
The average wedding now a days will cost upwards of $23,000 and it isn’t uncommon for it to jump to $30,000. Pinterest has provided her with a lot of cost effective DIYS to help them stretch their money. Yet, as my friend trolled the wedding boards looking for inspiration, venues, and wedding dresses, she quickly became discouraged. The reality that her wedding wasn’t going to look the way she had once planned and dreamed it to be was sinking in. It’s hard to watch.
You want your friends to have everything and you want that for yourself too. But my friend having that dream wedding she had pinned up a storm of before she even had a ring on her finger, wasn’t helping much. While my friend may not directly blame Pinterest for her lofty wedding expectations, I can’t help but feel like the access to planning our dream weddings with ease is doing more harm than good. Another friend of mine, happily married, even admitted to me that she wishes she could redo her wedding and that her Pinterest board is just that. Crazy!
So I ditched my wedding board. All 500 pins of overpriced engagement rings, one-of-a-kind wedding dresses and gold dipped centerpieces that I had carefully collected over the years and unfollowed my friends’ boards too. Why? Because I know that when I finally meet the man I will call my husband, I would rather focus on what I have than what I wish I had. I don’t want to loose sight of the purpose and reason for a wedding and marriage. In the mean time, I think my time would be best focused on how I can become the best version of myself by looking to Christ, rather than pinning flower arrangements and 2 karat diamond rings I will never have. I’m not saying delete yours, maybe it’s just time to check our hearts and to be sure what we’re pinning now won’t come to haunt us later.