Marriage Isn't a Club

I was scrolling through Instagram and I liked a photo. A good friend had just posted an engagement announcement. I was thrilled. They were great people who would do great things together. Then I scanned the comments, the regular hearts and exclamations of joy– and then I hit a comment that made me cringe. It said, “welcome to the club.” My skin crawled. I had to resist the urge to reply and throw up all over my phone. When did marriage become a club? And if that’s what it is going to be, count me out.

I find it irksome, even down right infuriating, when this type of language is being used to talk about marriage, and subsequently put-down singles. It’s perceptions like these that divide and despair singles from their married friends. We need to drop the act that our lives are suddenly better or more complete once you meet that “special someone.” Or the idea that married people can only hang around other married people or those that are entering into marriage. This is a fallacy and needs to be put to death.

When marriage is viewed as a club, we negate the feelings of single men and women that are predominately within the Church. And their numbers are growing. It’s a cold hard fact that less and less singles are entering into marriage early, if at all, and for many, it isn’t by choice. Singleness has its challenges, and I think it’s often more challenging than marriage. The thing is, they’re incomparable.

Marriage isn’t a club. There’s no secret handshake or secret meetings. It’s simply a life stage that we either enter into or don’t at some time or other. Those that are married or are getting married do not posses an exclusive membership.

The moment we enter into this mode of thought, we enter into subversive territory. There is no room within the Kingdom of God for a hierarchy of exclusion. There’s no me against them, marrieds against singles. We need everyone, operating in unity as one body.

Thoughts, questions, concerns? Tell me what you think! Let’s discuss! Leave a comment below. Get a little heated. Agree. Disagree. Throw your opinion out there. Hey, maybe I’m wrong. Maybe I’m right. It doesn’t really matter, it’s my opinion anyway. I’m just glad you decided to join the conversation.




One Reply to “Marriage Isn't a Club”

  1. I was thinking about that status of marriage in Christianity – because the husband/wife relationship is equated to that of Christ/church, singles are often viewed as half of the equation. I’ve heard about how “selfish” singles are, how “immature” singles are; why it’s almost as if forsaking the institution of marriage is like being a church that turns its back on Christ and all he has to offer her or like being Christ who has decided not to sacrifice himself for the Church.

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